Leo's Confessions 2
by I Am The Batman
Summary: In this sequel, Leo will be talking about the people in the Tournament, like Steve, Dragunov, Bob, Lili and more.
1. Steve

Hello, Dark Fortresses here. Since I thought that the first Leo's Confessions was popular-ish, I decided to make a second one. I'd recommend reading the first one as well. Makes sense, right? Anyway, enjoy!

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Steve. I like Steve. I am a proud Steve fangirl. Hell, I started the "Steve Fox Fan Club" on Facebook. I know. I'm very weird. As much as I love him, I don't really have many experience with the guy. In real life anyway.

Since I know you don't wanna hear (or read) about my dreams with Steve, I will tell you about my one real life experience. That day was the first (and probably last) time that I talked to him. It was just before my blind date with Hwoarang. For some reason Steve was at Hwoarang's place. He (meaning Hwoarang) needed to go to the little boys room to do _something._ So Steve and I was bored. He asked me what I liked to do on dates. Since I haven't been on many dates in my life, I answered "I don't know. The conversation (that seemed like an interview) went from there. It ended with Steve saying "Wow. A day in your mind would give me nightmares for the rest of my life. I don't really know what else to say about you." It's true. A day in my mind would give the average person nightmares. And an old guy wet dreams. I bet you're chuckling right now. That's one of the reasons I don't date , or try to, guys that're over the age of 32. Oh yeah, I haven't dated a guy over the age of 26 (Lili dared me to go on a date with Dragunov, but that's for another day). Yes.

So, even though Steve said that a day in my mind would give him really bad nightmares, I still like him. I think I like him more because of that. Is that strange? I think that it is. Also, I'm surprised I haven't tied him down to a bed and raped him. Is that possible for a chick to rape a guy? I think that it is, even if it may be kind of hard.

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Well, let's see how popular _this_ gets. Remember, I don't mind negative reviews. So if you thought it was bad, I'd like to read what you'r opinion is. Tell me what I could do to make it better. Tell me what I could do me make it a little bit longer. Anyway, I hoped that you enjoyed it.


	2. Dragunov

Hello, Dark Fortresses here once again. Here's the second chapter of Leo's Confessions 2. That was pretty quick. Only like, three days. Oh, and I never expected to have 7 reviews already! You guys are awesome. Enjoy!

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Sergei Dragunov. I like him, but not as much as I like Steve. I like him more as a friend type thing. Even though he's mute... I think. I admit, I have no idea if he ever talked. He didn't even talk when Anna asked him out. It was kinda funny. She was like "Fine then! Don't answer me when I ask you out!" He didn't even nod. If it were me, I'd nod, or say something. But I'm not a lesbian, and I'm pretty damn sure that Anna isn't either.

Anyway, the blind date with Dragunov. It was better than most blind dates that I've been on. I bet you don't believe me on that one, but it was. Dragunov's actually dateable. That's only if you hand him a notebook and a pencil for what he wants to say. I know. I'm a total genius. Dragunov took me to the same Mexican resteraunt that Miguel took me to. I like it there. It's a nice place. You know what sucked about that date? No? I had to start every conversation. If you're anything like me, you'd find that very hard to do that. And the conversations didn't last long kinda sucked too. I thought that he was getting kinda tired of writing as well.

So, all in all, if you wanna date a mute, you gotta have balls in steel. It's very hard, trust me. If you're married to one, I commend you. But I don't think that Dragunov's totally mute. I think that he doesn't like to talk. At all. Oh wait! He might be deaf! But you don't have to listen to me, I'm just jumping to conclusions. But it would be very interesting if he was deaf, right?

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Yes, I am aware that it is very short. If you point that out, I will ask you "Do you think I care?" And it's true. I don't. Anyway, just so you're prepared, the next one will be about Bob, and it'll be posted in August. Well, I hope that you enjoyed it, and happy hunting.


	3. Bob

Hello once again, Dark Fortresses here. I said that this'd come in August didn't I? Well, it's here. And I'm mad. Very mad. I bet you know what Tekken Zaibatzu is, right? Well, on Leo's chaaracter bio, they refer to her as a guy. A guy! She is _so_ not a guy. Anyway, enough ranting, and enjoy!

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Bob. I like Bob. He's cool. We met at the tournament, but we didn't become buddies until he was dared to ask me out. Yes. I so sorry for him. Not because he had to ask me out, but it was because the people that dared him to go on a date with me (a.k.a. Xiaoyu and Lili) were laughing at us. Apparently I'm hilarious. But then again, I fell in mud. I think Lili placed it there. Don't ask me how. Maybe she's friends with Harry Potter.

I'm guessing you wanna know what he did for the date thing. He took me to an amusement park. The best one in Germany. The same that Hwoarang took me to. I think it was a lot better than Hwoarang's date. But I have really bad luck around that one roller coaster. First bird shit and vomit, then mud. Lot's of mud. And why aren't guys creative? Like, seriously. Guys only bring me to an amusement park or some Mexican restaurant. Be creative! My god, it's like you guys are freakin' robots. And to guys that will take me on a blind date or what I like to call a "dare date", I like more things than to get my outfit dirty and food. I like many other things, like bungee jumping, sky diving, and shopping for shoes and things like that. I like shoes, believe it or not.

Anyway, Bob and I like to go to concerts together (we recently went to Wacken, all three days), we go to movies together ( we also went to the Transformers movie, the second one, and it was total shit), and lots of other fun things like that. It's pretty fun. When he goes back to America for working and "family time", we e-mail each other. I clearly don't have very many German friends. Or many international friends either. I have two pen pals from Turkey, Bob, Stian (remember him?), and that's pretty much it. Only one lives in Germany. I am so lucky, aren't I? I think that I am.

Anyway, guys are uncreative in terms of dating, friends are good, and I _do_realize that I'm a bit of a playa. Oh, and don't talk like a gangsta. Learn from my example.

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I think I may have to clear something. Wacken is like Ozzfest in America, but in Germany, and it lasts three days in August. I don't know when in August though. Oh, and I won't stop at five chapters this time! I'm goin' for ten! And I can't believe that this already has 10 reviews. So thanks, and I hope you enjoyed it.


	4. Lili

Hello, Dark Fortresses here. It's been a while since I updated this, so here ya go. I don't think that this was as funny as the other ones, but that's just me. Some people would find it funny. I think. Anyway, enjoy!

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Lili. I don't like Lili. But, then again, I don't like a lot of people. Or things. Nouns. Pronouns. Don't ask me how I know those terms. It's school. They force things that you don't need to know into your head. Like when'll I, of all people, need to know what algebra is. Seriously. Sorry, I have a habit of getting off topic a lot, if you hadn't noticed. I'm sure you have, and you've been reading what I have to say for a while now.

Anyway, since you already know what I think about her hair, I guess I'll talk about her clothes. First, her shoes. You see, I like my fair share of high heels, platforms, and sandals. But go-go dancer boots? Ugh! They're so ugly! I have two reasons why I think this. The first one is… I don't really like square toed shoes. The second one is… they aren't fashionable anymore. Maybe they were like… 30 years ago. But not this century. Unless you're an actual go-go dancer. Lili isn't. So in my opinion her shoes are okay at best. That's me being nice.

Second, her dresses. They aren't much better than her shoes. In fact, I think that they're worse. She says she gets her daddy to buy her what's on the runways in Italy or France. French and Italian have such unfashionable clothes (but Italian shoes are good) with ugly-ish models to wear said clothes. Like, if you're gonna go and try to find clothes found on runways, I'd recommend you go to New York for that. And I don't follow trends. I make them. You know I'm gonna go off topic some time, don't you? Well, I am. I remember a time when I was about 15, and my brother was really into motocross, and he broke his leg. He had to go to a pro tournament three days after. Since I was pretty good at motocross as well, I posed as my brother for that. Someone there at the tournament noticed that I was wearing bright green nail polish. He asked why I was wearing it, and I answered "it helps with my aerodynamics", or something like that. And soon after, every guy there was wearing that same shade of green nail polish. That was the first and most important trend that I started. That's good right? I think it is. I think that everything I say is right.

Anyway, onto her non-dress clothes, like socks, shirts, and jeans. Oh, and I forgot, she has an unlimited supply of skirts. Well, it seems unlimited. She probably has one for every day of the year (there's 365 days in a year, if you don't know). It's probably the same with everything else she owns. I'm guessing you wanna know what my opinion of her "casual" clothes is. I think that they're ugly, like the rest of her clothes. Yeah, Lili fans, I went there!

Now onto her personality. I think that she has a fairly bitchy personality. And she seems to be pretty prissy as well. She's all like "Sebastian clean my room!" And "Sebastian cook for me!" I bet she's really thinking "Do this, bitch!" That poor old man. I feel so sorry for him. Also, who needs a butler anyway? Aren't they just a waste of useful money that you could use for gas or food? I think that it's just me though. I'm actually kinda glad that I live in a one-bedroom apartment, that's very small. Less bills and less maintenance.

So I have four words that describe my opinion of Lili: I don't like her. It's true. I don't.

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Well, now I will work on the chapter that'll be about Hwoarang. How exciting. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Hwoarang

Hello, Dark Fortresses here. Here I have... the highly anticipated fifth chapter of Leo's Confessions! This is my second favorite chapter so far. Next to the Steve chapter... but enough of me. I hope you enjoy it.

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Hwoarang. His name's hard to pronounce. Most non-Korean people I know can't pronounce it. I don't like not knowing how to pronounce things. I don't think that anybody does. Anyway, I have a few bones to pick with him. Metaphorically. No actual bones. That'd be gross. Really gross.

I will first talk about his dating skills. I just know that I'll get attacked by his many fangirls that will either die a virgin or a teen mommy. Do people still get attacked by virgin or teen mommy fangirls these days? I think so. I don't think that other people do though. I don't really care. Anyway, I can compare his dating skills to getting pecked to death by a duck or getting trampled by 300 lemmings. Well, at least that's what it was like when I dated him that one time. No, I'm not exaggerating. It was that bad. Trust me.

Second… the rumors that I've heard about him. This'll take a while. I think that the first one that I've heard about him was that he lost his virginity when he was 9. I don't think he had his virginity to begin with. But the idea of a little 9 year old Asian boy doin' another little 9 year old is hilarious, don't ya think? I think it is. That isn't the only rumor that I've heard! I've heard that he swallowed a toy car when he was 5, that he was raised as a girl for the first three years of his life, and that he loves to collect Pokemon cards, just to name a few. I'm sure that there are at least 50 more. Oh, and he rejected Lili because he didn't want to be labelled as a sex offender. Same with Asuka. Sucks to be a minor, eh?

I don't see what other chicks see in him. Sure, he's attractive, but only on the outside. I don't like playas that aren't myself. I love me. I like British guys. I don't know why, but I think that their accent is hot. Except for chavs. Zafina taught me about them. They're so homophobic… that they're **gay**. I know that doesn't make much sense. I understand if you don't get it. I don't understand myself sometimes. It's a thing with me.

Anyway, back to Hwoarang. I like him more than I like Lili, but less than I like Steve or Bob, But we're similar in ways. Like we're both good looking (I think that I'm good like, so shut up), we're both egotistical, or, in English, we're both self-centred, and we both strongly dislike Jin. Hwoarang! I'll kick your ass at the next tournament! Sorry, I get violent sometimes. I think that everyone does.

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So who do you think that the next chapter should be about? I think it should be about Miguel. But I that chapter and a Xiaoyu chapter in the works. Oh, and the little kid eating a toy car _is_ an actual story. It was on a TV show one day. That's where I got one of the rumors from. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and happy hunting.


	6. Manly Man

Hello, Dark Fortresses here. Here's a new chapter! Happy freakin' Christmas! It's about Miguel. Or Manly Man. I personally like Manly Man for him as a nickname. Anyway, enjoy!

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Miguel. Miguel Caballero Rojo. I have no idea how to pronounce his name. Kinda like I don't know how to pronounce Hwoarang's name. So for this I'm gonna call him "Manly Man". I think it suits him. Do you? I know you do.

I like Manly Man. He's both manly and Spanish. He also has chest hair. And I think he has green eyes. Does he have green eyes? I'm sure he does. If he does… He's Latin and he has green eyes, I NEED HIM!! I know, I'm very strange.

I bet you know how my date with him went. If you don't, it was okay. Not perfect. But it was still better than my date with Hwoarang. You know how that went. He's an okay guy though. Manly Man. Not Hwoarang. Hwoarang is not okay. Fine, he _is_ hot. But that's the only thing that's okay about him. Oh! And I like Manly Man's hair! It's all nice and curly and brown…

So I'm guessing you want to know why I call Miguel "Manly Man". I only have one reason: chest hair. Yes, chest hair. You might be thinking "Chest hair?! What the hell is this chick thinking? Is chest hair _not _gross?" I will repeat: yes, chest hair. What am I thinking? What are _you_ thinking, bitch?! And… no, chest hair is not gross. It's a magical thing called manly. I'm not expecting you to know what the word "manly" means. With you and your "sexy" emo and scene guys with skunk hair… Oh! And I have something to say about skunk hair… I know animal prints may be fashionable these days, but skunk is not.

Now let's critique his clothes, shall we? I like his outfits. I think that they suit him. Why, you ask? His clothes make him look like a bull fighter guy. Dangerous _and_ sexy, right? I think that's right. Is he a bull fighter guy? I think that he is. He told me what he did for a living once, and I'm pretty sure he said he was a bull fighter guy. I have an awesome memory, don't I? I think that I do.

Anyway, I like Manly Man a bit more than I like Dragunov but less than I like Bob. That means I like him a lot. He's another person that I'd tie down to a bed and rape in the middle of the night. I _still_ don't know if chicks can rape dudes. I must know.

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Well, I'm making this fifteen chapters. Who do you think the next chapter should be about? I think it should be about Xioayu. But tell me what you think. Oh, and I wrote this while listening to the Backstreet Boys. I have devoloped a love for them. Well, I hope you enjoyed it.


	7. Xiaoyu, the Puff Ball of Doom

Hi. I'm Dark Fortresses. But I bet you already knew that. I had the sudden urge to write for 2 hours, and I came out with this, and part of the Halloween special that I promised so long ago. The Halloween special will be released on the actual day. I have no idea if I'll be able to get it done. But I always pull through. I can do it. Anyway, enjoy!

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Xiaoyu. I used to like her. I don't really like her now. I liked her about 2 months ago. Oh, how friends change. One minute they're buyin' ya shoes, the next they're pushin' ya in mud. Not fun. You know what that's like, right? Right? I know you know what that's like.

So first I'll talk about her parsonality. It's okay, considering she's your steriotypical little Chinese girl that really likes strange guys. At least she doesn't like drug dealers. That would be bad. She only likes tyrants. You know who I'm talkin' about. I don't even have to say the word "right" after that. If you're stupid, it's Jin. Yeah, I said the magic word... er, I mean name, if that makes any sense. I bet it doesn't.

Se, next I will talk about her hair. It's pretty bland if you ask me, but then again, so is mine. But at least I do it differently each day. _And _I dye it. I may not dye it much, but at least I dye it. All she does is put it in piggy tails. Maybe she should do something more interesting. I use the term "interesting" very loosely. I think she should put her hair down sometime, or put it in a pony tail or a braid. But, on the other hand, she's a cute little Chinese girl. She's kinda forced to do her hair like that. So, all in all, her hair's okay. It could be a lot better. My hair's better anyway, why should someone of my stature care about hers?

Now time for her clothes. They are... very bright. You could have a seizure looking at them. Especially her one dress and her bracelets. Those are the 2... wait... 3 things I like in her wardrobe. I like looking at colorful things. But! I don't like looking looking at that retarded rainbow Care Bear suit she she wears it a lot. It's really unflattering. Her shoes aren't much better. Y'know those little puff balls on strings attached to the top of her shoes? Those are the only reason her shoes are shitty. I think that her clothes are the worst part about her. I'm sorry, Xiaoyu, I have this strange urge to critique every person I know. It's a habit.

Well, Xiaoyu's nice if ya don't get on her bad side. I have no idea how I got on that side, but I did. And then she befriended Harry Potter and he made me fall in mud. And now two of my outfits are ruined. Thanks, Xiaoyu.

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Short? Yes. I understand. I think I should tell you who I'm thinking of doing next. I think I should do the Williams sisters next. One chapter for each. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Happy hunting.


	8. Anna

Hi. It's about damn time I updated this, right? So here it is. Sorry it's so short. I'll try to make the next one longer. Enjoy!

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Anna Williams. Actually, I think she's pretty okay. She's like Lili in a way, like she's fashionable, but unlike Lili, she has recently got her shot of awesome. Lili doesn't know what a shot of awesome is, and I'm not planning on telling her. And I think she's nicer than her sister by a long shot. But I'll talk about her another day. Maybe tomorrow.

So recently I've given people nicknames. What nickname should I give Anna? Well, I can't think of one for her. So I'll just call her Anna. Anyway, Anna has given _me_ a nickname. It's "Leo the Androgynous Blob". I think it's really fitting for me. Because I am androgynous and I am a blob. See? I'm true to myself.

I think Anna likes me because I sort of keep the creepy guys away. When I hang out with her, people think I'm her boyfriend, and they instantly stop talking. This may be out of character for me, but I feel a burst of... um... I don't know what to call it, but then I flash that one guy that thought I was a dude. I may have small boobs, but they're boobs and I can still legitimately flash people. Sure, Anna's much better at it, but she taught me well, I must say. And she gave me this medicine that makes your boobs bigger. I just recently started using it, so I don't think it started working yet. But my boobs haven't grown since I was 13, so who am I kidding?

I really like Anna's hair. I don't know why, but the pointy bangs drew me in at the start. Then she had to go and change it. I was like "Are you shitting me? You changed it?" And she was like "Yeah, I changed it. I just thought I should do something different." Yeah. That's how it went. Very quick, and very simple.

So I guess I'll close with a question for Anna. You're in your 40's? I honestly thought you were my age. And you say you're getting close to the age where you can't have children. Bull-freakin-shit. You can have children _forever_. So you could have like, 93 little Annas running around your house. Maybe I could take some. One day you will take control of the world with those little Annas. Trust me. I'd do it if I could, but I can't get a boyfriend easily. Anna, you're my second best female friend.

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The next one will be about Nina. I hope you enjoyed it, and remember; pillage, THEN burn. Happy hunting.


	9. Nina

Hello. It hasn't been that long since the last one, right? Right. That's good. I don't know why, but I've been watching bits and pieces of Naruto. I don't know why. I normally don't watch anime with ninjas or samurais. Little monsters are my thing. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Nina Williams. Out of the 2 Williams sisters, she's my least favorite, I gotta admit. If I said that to her face, I'd probably be killed, so I'm just gonna be safe and not tell her. See? I'm being smart. Being smart gets you places in life, doesn't it? Yes. Yes it does. And if I were you, I'd try to be smart around Nina. I heard she likes people who are careful around her. I've also heard she doesn't like anybody. Oh, and if I told her I was a fangirl of her kid (that would be Steve) she'd probably put bamboo shoots under my nails while I'm sleeping. That wouldn't be very fun.

I don't have much to say about her fashion sense. But I will say two things. Purple is definately her color. If people stole it from her, I'm sure she'd be pissed. And I think she should invest in a good bra. I know it may be hard to find a 34 E, but it wouldn't hurt to go to a specialty shop, and I'm sure E is the same as DD. That's what I've been told by someone I knew when I was young. It isn't that hard to find DD bras, right? Right. I know many people who've gotten DD implants, and they turned out to be 34 DDs, yet they say they had more problems finding smaller bras. So there ya go. I rest my case. I now feel like screaming "SHAKE AND BAKE, THAT JUST HAPPENED!" I don't know why.

Y'know, I noticed something. Nina never smiles or laughs. Not even when Anna does something kinda stupid, like falling in a puddle. I've been laughed at by Dragunov when I fall in puddles, and you rarely see him smile. On a side note, I heard he likes singing outside of battle. Not so tough now, are ya, Draggie! Anyway ,I'm gonna go on a secret mission to make her smile, or at least show some emotion. I don't know what I'm gonna do yet. So I'm gonna get Bob, Miguel, and Zafina to help me. I think it's gonna be a good experience. I think I should get more people in on it. Like Anna. I'm sure she would love to help. They've never liked each other. If I was in an anime, the narrator would probably say something like "The tension builds as Leo plans something that may get herself killed!"

So I don't like Nina as much as I can throw her, and I don't have the most upper body strength. But you have to remember, Lili is heavier than Nina. You know what that means? I dare you to tell me what it means. But other than that, I think Nina and Bryan should get together. They would make a good couple. Like they don't smile (but it wouldn't kill them to), they're both violent, and they don't like people. Believe me. But I'm sure they wouldn't let me set them up on a date. They don't like me that much. They say I'm kind of like Rainbow Brite.

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I'd picture that narrator to have David Lodge (he voiced Jiraya in Naruto) or Skip Stellrecht (he voiced Guy in Naruto) as a voice actor. I think that would be fitting. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Happy hunting.


	10. Kazuya Mishima

Hi, Dark Fortresses here. I'm sure this is long awaited. I originally planned this to be about Lee, but that'll be next time, and I got the idea for this when I was asleep. And if I stayed asleep, I would have lost the idea. That happens to you guys, right? Right? I'm sure it does. Anyway, enjoy!

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Kazuya Mishima. If you could see me right now, you would tell that I am making a very angry face right about now. I'm sure you know why. If you don't, I guess I should say. You see, once upon a time Kazuya was very angry (once I think about it, he always is) and he decided to do something a little bit drastic. He worked in G Corporation. My mom also worked there. Kazuya didn't like what they were doing in her department. He killed EVERYONE. I'm not lying. Then he burnt down that area. One day, I shall prove that you, sir, are GUILTY! GUILTY, I say! I'm sorry for that little outburst. It happens to me sometimes. Does it happen to you? I think it would.

When I tell that story to people, they just laugh and say, "Oh, Leo, you're such a good story teller!" I must admit, that's true, but this story is one that is based off of TRUTH! Sadly, I'm not a detective. I don't have the attention span to be one of those. That's why my dad always took me to caves and stuff like that. He went missing though. Most people say that he probably died in a cave, but I think that's a lie. If you know him, you'd know that he's crafty and he could live months at a time in the wilderness. He's done it before.

Is it just me, or does Kazuya's hair kinda look like a shark fin? It's probably just me. Most people say it looks like a chicken, but I think it looks more like a shark fin. If it did look like a chicken, it would have more spikes and stuff. His is just a point. They're different. That brings me to another _point_ (isn't that cheesy?), have you ever noticed his hairline? It makes him look like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, don't you think? I think you'd agree if you used to watch that show, but not many German people my age know what it is. That makes me sad inside.

One day, I shall prove him guilty of all the illegal things he did (I only know of the killings and the arson, who knows what else he's done?). I'm guessing he thinks he's some sort of Viking, but Japanese. And he doesn't seem like one of those red-bearded men who like to kill and eat babies. He probably just likes to kill babies, because eating them would make his reputation even worse than it is. Can it even get any worse? I don't think it can, to be honest. We'll see. I've asked people I know, but they either don't care, or they don't know who he is. Stupid friends.

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I thought this was fairly good, considering I wrote it in like, 25 minutes. Well, there are only 5 more chapters in this series. I will be terribly sad. I hope you enjoyed this, and happy hunting.


	11. Lee Chaolan

Hello. I've been writing a lot haven't I? Anyway, this one's about Lee. Enjoy! Please?

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Lee Chaolan. I like him. Do you know what I love most about him? No? Well, it's his flirty attitude. And that one vest with the unicorns on it. I just love unicorns. I saw one once. But I won't go into details about that strange experience. It makes me mad that he didn't show his flirty attitude to me because he thoughtI was a dude. But now he knows I'm a chick. That makes me happy.

Actually, I don't know what else I should say about him. So I guess I'll just talk about his flirty attitude. I love his flirty attitude. I don't know why. I just love pretty boys (like Steve!), and it's because I would be a pretty boy as well! Being a flirt like Lee would be awesome. You'd never be lonely being one. I don't know about you, but I get kinda lonely. Being lonely sucks ass. I should know. I've been there. Trust me.

I just had this extremely crazy idea. Maybe Lee, Anna, Steve, and I should all adopt like, 400 kids and we would have our own army of awesome. I know, it's crazy, but I'm sure Anna will do it. I originally suggested that we all become like, polygamists, and go from there, but Anna just had to say that Steve was her nephew. I replied, "If those polygamists can get away with having more than one wife, you can get away with incest. I'm sure they've tried it." We laughed for hours after that. I'm dead serious. I'm sure Anna doesn't want me to say this, but at one point in that night she wet herself. That made me laugh even more and my laughing made her laugh even more, and so on. That was a good night.

I remember the day after I came home from the tournament. I had seen Lee's vest thing with the unicorn on it, I'm sure you know the one I'm thinking of, and I saw a unicorn on the country side. I'm not lying. I told Lee about it and I was mad because he didn't believe me. You can't believe the face I made after that. It was similar to the one I made when I was talking about Kazuya. People say I look funny when I'm angry.

There is one last thing I have to say. Lee, we should have babies. They would be the greatest children ever. They would be like... blonde Chinese people! That's AWESOME! It's like the awesome face mixed in with Mudkips and Sailor Moon. Well, I know some people may not think that's awesome, but I wanted to be Sailor Moon when I was little. Don't judge, I know you wanted to be her when you were little, and that's that.

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Well, I'm proud of myself. I'm finally getting closer to the finish line. That makes me sad, but happy at the same time. This was a year (almost) well spent. Now I'm asking myself, "What if I hadn't written Leo's Confessions in the first place?" Anyway, happy hunting.


	12. Craig Marduk

Hi. I was originally going to do Zafina, but I thought it wouldn't be that good. And I couldn't think of any ideas. But with Craig, I did. Believe it or not, I got most of them from playing a game called Sushi Cat. Don't ask me how. Anyway, enjoy!

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Craig Marduk. He's a strange fellow. I can't believe I said "fellow". Fellow is a strange word, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Would you like to know why Craig is strange? Well, the hairs on his legs are like, the length of my fingers. It's really gross. And weird. But mostly gross. I guess it compensates for his male pattern baldness (it's so bad, he's completely bald!). Like if he waxed it off, and put it on his head, he'd have a full head of hair. I'm not lying. I did it in a dream once. It didn't end very well.

I have one question to ask, and that would be, "Craig, are you a rapist?" I ask this because Anna had an experience where he defeated her and dragged her away to somewhere. She doesn't remember what happened after, except waking up in a crappy hotel room. And having some sort of genital wart. She got them removed... I think. I hope she did though. Like I know he killed someone, but now I think he's a rapist. And if he continues, he will be a great rapist. I would be very proud if he lands himself in jail. I know that may sound absolutely terrible, but it's true. I'll be very proud.

I've been asked, and dared to ask Craig out. I always say, "No. He's much too tall and hairy for me." Whoever I say this to always laughs when I say that. Well, he is too tall and too hairy for me. Look, I don't need a boyfriend that always has to go to a chiropractor with neck problems and I don't like to stand on my toes. Ask Xiaoyu to do that. She's better at it. Also, I think he's too much of a meat head for me. I fill that role quite nicely, thank you very much. And yes, people _do_ say I'm a meat head. Mostly because I love ribs and stuff like that.

For some reason, I like Craig, despite his many flaws. And when I say "many" I mean he has too many flaws to count. I guess I like his cockiness and shit. Confidence gets you places in life, doesn't it? I thought so. That's why I'm so successful... Ahh, who am I kidding? I'm not that successful. Us cave people are never rich. Except for my Dad. He worked for this guy who's related to Bill Gates. Bill is, in fact, as nerdy as most say. Next to Julia, he's the biggest nerd I've ever met.

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Well, I hope to have filled your hearts with the joy of a little kid at Christmas. Happy hunting.


	13. The Super Saiyan

Hello. Dark Fortresses here. It's about damn time I updated, right? Yes. It is. I'm sad. This fic is almost over. Only two more chaps to go. Anyway, enjoy!

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Lars Alexandersson. Or as I like to call him, the Super Saiyan. No, really, I have called him a Super Saiyan before. Actually, when I first met him, I screamed "Kame... hame... HAAAA!" And then I tackled him. Like an American football player. Call me a sadist, but enjoyed it. A lot. True story.

I don't get why everyone thinks he looks like that one guy from Soul Calibur, you know, that one with the long, flowy hair. Lars does not look like him. At all. First, Lars does not have long ass woman hair. Second,_ I_ look like more of a man than that one guy, and I personally think it's obvious that I'm a chick! You can tell that Lars is a man, and you wouldn't be confused. Seriously.

I have a theory. Like when it comes to Lars' hair. He probably uses 4 or 5 bottles of Elmers glue and a few gallons of hair spray to make it stand that nice and tall. It's probably the same with Jin, Kazuya, and Heihachi. It couldn't possibly stand up like that naturally. But, of course, I never knew a thing called the "Devil Gene" could've existed, but it does. This world is going friggin' crazy. What's next? The Loch Ness monster really existing? On another note, I have a theory on how the Devil Gene was created. One of Jin's ancestors drank too much Red Bull, and it gave him WINGS! I'm serious. I really do think that. Sounds absolutely friggin' crazy, I know, but it's a possibility.

One day, when I was talkng to Lars, I came to a realization. Lars... is, in fact, the biggest nerd ever. He suddenly started talking about how his Orc demon in Dungeons n' Dragons was level 92 or something. Playing Dungeons n' Dragons is one thing, but having something in that piece a shit that's over level 50 makes you nerdier than Bill Gates. If you disagree, I have to question your sanity. What makes this story sadder is... soon after talking about Dungeons n' Dragons, her started talking about World of Warcraft. Don't even get me started on that. World of Warcraft and Dungeons and Dragons are the 2 nerdiest things on the planet. Trust me. It's true.

Despite his clear nerdiness, Lars is good with the ladies. If you're good enough to attract a seemingly emotionless robot girl with pink hair and an exploding head, you must be doing something right. Maybe he put some sort of robot attracting stuff in his hair just before he showed up to the Tournament. But then again, the JACK think doesn't seem to be aware of his existence. So this means I will do a lot of investigation in the near future! So much investigating, that I will need a sidekick! But sadly, I don't know where I will find one... but I guess I'll start looking at an exotic pet store.

Oh, and I forgot something. If Heihachi's his dad, then he must have a model for a mom. I know, I'm a terrible person, but he difinitely doesn't look like his father. I mean, look at the guy! He looks like a friggin' male model! There is NO WAY he got it from that old coot. Am I right, or am I right?

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For some reason, I think this chap is one of the best so far. If you, as the reader, disagree, that's okay. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and had a lot of fun writing it.


	14. Jin Kazama

Hi. You know who I am. Anyway, here I have the second last chapter. I'm very sad. And I'm sorry to fangirls that get offended. But I'm sure that fangirls won't. Anyway, enjoy this.

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Jin Kazama. I don't think he knows Xiaohas an intense crush on him. Like whenever she tries to talk to him, he always seems to get distracted by small animals, like birds and squirrels. Yeah. That reminds me of Twilight a bit. The douchey boyfriend who is also a bit of a pussy, the sort-of stupid useless girlfriend, the meddling other non-important but attractive people... Just like Twilight. Right? I've only seen half of the movie. It's so terrible, I literally walked out of the theatre. Yes, it was THAT bad. And Zafina wants to take me to the last one. Zafina, if you take me to that, I will shave your head. Trust me, I WILL do it.

Y'know, I think he might have some sort of kinky relationship with Nina. Isn't she old enough to be his mother? I think she is. She may look young, but looks are deceiving. Especially in her case. Anyway, I find their relationship especially kinky because I saw Jin in nothing but a towel (I dare fangirls to imagine that, and draw tons of fanart), walking over to Nina's room. I was interested. Of course. Who wouldn't? So I went over to Nina's room, and decided to watch from that one space under the door. It looked like... they were putting shoes into cardboard boxes in the nudey-pants. And what's REALLY strange is the fact that Nina actually... um... I'm sure you know... I'm trying to protect your innocence, alright? Protecting people's innocence is amusing.

You know I'm gonna talk about his hair, right? Yeah. Well, it's just like Kazuya's. We MUST stop Jin from reproducing! We don't want anymore Vegeta haired people! Or at least I don't. There should be more people like Steve. And people with awesome dreads like Eddy. Because dreads are awesome. Awesomeness is awesome. Oh, and he also must have an attractive mom. There's NO way Kazuyacan make HIM with an average person. Seriously. No way. I heard that his mom looks kinda like Asuka. That makes me happy.

I have to end this by saying something funny, right? Well, I have to say, "Yay for putting nice shoes into cardboard boxes!" I think you should try it. I know I have. It's very fun. And it'll make Nina attempt to kill you less. I know. She attempted to kill me once, then I screamed "I have put a shoe into a cardboard box!" She did not kill me that day. Which is good. I like living.

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I already have an idea for the last chap. But that doesn't mean you can't leave suggestions! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Happy hunting people.


	15. LOL It's a surprise

Hello. Dark Fortresses here. It's been a while, and I am sad. I'm sure you know why. I've spent like 2 years of my life perfecting these two fanfics, and it's already over? Why? Someone please tell me why it's over so soon. Anyway, I hope you fanfic-reading people enjoy this. Yeah.

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Leo. Me. I like me. No, I LOVE me. Who doesn't love me? Seriously. Anyway, I recently got an e-mail from Zafina. It was one of those copy and paste surveys that friends sometimes send you. The questions like, interrogate you and stuff. You've gotten those right? I think that you've gotten those before. There were about 30 questions. Yeah. I think it was 30. Here's what my answers were for them.

1. What is your real name? My name is Leo Kliesen. I WOULD tell you my fake name that I use for tickets, but I don`t think you want that one.

2. What would you like your name to be? Leo Fox. I know that probably doesn't flow very well, but I like Steve.

3. What was your favorite show (or shows) as a child? Xena: Warrior Princess, Beyblades, and that one Legend of Zelda cartoon. I know. Laugh all you want.

4. If you kill a fictional character, who would it be? He-man. Or Sasuke. You know those characters, right?

5. If you could kill a real person, who would it be? I'd have to say Lili.

6. What would your dream job be? I'd be a professional serial rapist. Don't judge.

7. No, really. What would it be? A cheese maker. Cheese is soothing, like swans.

8. Who's your favorite person in the Tournament (you know you're gonna pick Zafina)? ME! Or Steve. I already mentioned that I like Steve.

9. Is anybody perfect? No. Except for me and Steve.

10. What is your favorite kind of food? I like children. If you eat them, your shit turns into a sparkly rainbow of happiness and the eathen child's dream.

11. What did you want to be when you were a kid? I always wanted to be Sailor Moon or the Pink Power Ranger. It's true. I wanted to be them when I was 5. Then I wanted to be a spelunker (or a cave explorer if you don't know what a spelunker is) when I was 8.

12. How would you like to die? I don't really know. I think I might want to be trampled by thousands upon thousands of murderous lemmings. Or I might want my heart eaten out by a baby dear.

13. What is the Crayola crayon color you used the most? Olive green. Or periwinkle. Shut up, I think they're beautiful colors.

14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Grape. Yes, it is an actual flavor. I bet you don't believe me.

15. What kind of things did you learn from the internet? Grape and grass are bad words, and n00bs are new friends, among other things. No, internet, n00bs are not going to be friends of mine anytime soon.

16. Is your lip gloss poppin'? Yes... wait. That's some sort of innuendo, isn't it? I'm sure it is.

17. Is there a she-wolf in the closet? I don't even know what the hell a she-wolf is. If it's a moose, then yes. There is a she-wolf in the closet.

18. Is there lots of virgins in the Virgin Islands? Yes. Yes there are.

19. Are you telling the truth when you lie in bed? With most people, yes, with me, no.

20. What happens to an 18 hour bra if you wear it for more than 18 hours? Oh, one of my firends (yes, I have friends) wore one of those for 18 hours and 1 minute, and she exploded. True story.

21. If you had a pet alpaca, what would you name him? First of all, what the hell kind of question is that, Zafina? Anyway, if I had an alpaca, I would name him Carlos or Pablo.

22. What is one of your most prized possesions? My limited edition Game Boy Color. It's the one with those little Pokemon on it. It still works perfectly.

23. What are some of your fears? Conjoined twins, but only when they're conjoined. They just... look wierd when they're conjoined. It's a completely rational fear. Oh, and cherries. I fear cherries.

24. What do you obsessively collect? Many things, but mostly Pokemon plushies, exotic pets, and used condoms that were once laying in a field. Don't pay attention to that last one.

25. What is your favorite article of clothing? My red jacket thing.

26. What is your gender? Well, it's kinda hard to explain. I am a femaler that just happens to look like a girly-man. Well, I guess it wasn't that hard. You know that I'm a chick, Zafina! Why do you have to ask me that! Seriously.

27. Why are you so mean to Hwoarang? I think that you would be a good couple. Zafina, how dare you say we'd make a good couple, because we WOULDN'T. And I'm mean to him because it's fun. I love seeing his reactions to what I say.

28. If a piglet in rainboots and Steve got in a fight of cuteness, who would win? Can I say a tie? I can't decide!

29. What do you think of Nina possibly being your future mother-in-law? It freaking sucks man. It really does.

30. Would you ever enter the Tournament again? Yes. For Steve and money. But mostly Steve.

Yes, I do know some of the questions do not make sense, but that's just Zafina. She asks wierd questions. Trust me. She once asked Manly Man if she could shave him. He obviously said no.

I'm afraid I have nothing else to talk about. I've talked about everybody of importance in the Tournament, and like, 5 other things. So I guess this is goodbye for now. OK then, bye.

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I hated having to write the ending. That's one thing I have to work on with writing. That and the beginnings of stories. So... I don't really know what kind of fanfics I'll be writing from now on. Maybe finishing up that letter one. So I hope you enjoyed this, and I'll see you all on October 21st. I'm putting something up on that date, and if I don't, you can yell at me.


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